she stretched on the bed and reached with her long leg and placed her foot on his desk before him on the notebook he was writing in
“Wow,” she said. “Your place is so small, like a box of matches. And so empty. So lonely. Why don’t you ever have anyone over? I never see or hear you talking to people. Why must you be like that?”
“I don’t like people,” he said
"Why?"
“Don’t ask silly questions. For the same reason I don’t like hotdogs. I just don’t like them.”
“Do you like me?” she asked
“I don’t know,” he said
“Would you like me to leave?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know a lot of things, boy. I came to you because… I wanted to have a place from which I’d be missed if I left. I thought the heart of someone as lonely as you would be that special place for me. Turns out you’re not lonely at all. You’re just alone.”
“I guess,” he said
She removed her foot from his notebook and turned facing the wall and began to sob
“Hey, don’t be like that,” he said. “I might not be missing you if you go, but…”
“But what!?”
“Well, you still remain my least detestable hallucination. I like your legs, with all their ten joints. I like your crimson eyes, all eight of them. Your fangs, your horns, the scaled wings, everything. I really think you’re…”
“Yeah? You think I’m what?”
“You’re… what I need in my life right now. So don’t leave just yet, okay?”
“Hah! I knew you love me.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Shut up, you don’t know it yet. But you love me. Come to bed, you silly oaf! Let’s sleep and dream together. Something colorful, vibrant. A spider web full of butterflies. Shaking in the wind. Come.”
He closed his notebook and went to bed
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these days a lot of people call themselves empaths
They claim to be able to feel what other people are feeling and suffer with them
"I cheated on my boyfriend with his brother," some girl said, “and being the empath that I am I started crying along with him when he found out. It's hard being such an empath."
And there was the guy who got into a bar brawl and knocked another guy's teeth out and held a hand to his own mouth and made pain noises
I guess he was an empath too
If you have a social media account and don't describe yourself as an empath people will think you're some kind of monster, a psychopath, they'll compare you with Hitler
Yeah, it's a good reason not to use social media
If you actually needed another
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the ashtray was looking more and more like a sick hedgehog
and her yellowed fingers added one more quill to it
she sat back in her chair
work wasn't in the best of stages lately and her office looked like a junkie's trailer. You could scrape the nicotine off the walls. In fact, she would get nicotine under her nails if she just scratched her skin anywhere
But otherwise she was a beauty and that was a problem. Beautiful women have the worst luck in marriages
The husband left and the two girls went with him They were sick and tired of her habit to consume more cigarette smoke than oxygen
And drinking was also a problem though not nearly as big
The worst drinking has ever done to her was to make her lose the driving license which she never bothered to take back
The real problem was, as always, a lack of money. If the damn phone didn't ring soon she would have to kill someone for a pack of cigarettes
Assuming she could still kill someone with her body rotting from the inside. She was fine with breast cancer but now lung cancer joined too and it was by far nastier
Still that was all right It doesn't take a healthy body to pull a trigger
And speaking of triggers She opened a drawer in her desk took out the gun studied it
Not loaded
She browsed through the drawer
Only one bullet left. One single bullet. These things cost money too
Damn it
But it's like they said back in the mercenary camp The last bullet is always preserved to be used on the self
She loaded the bullet into the gun
A life lived well is one lived without regrets and without ever asking for mercy or feeling sorry for yourself
At 39 she had that. There was nothing else to be taken away from it
She put the gun to her temple
Smiled
"Except for a final smoke."
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Daydreaming as a profession 