and random weeds started to grow around them into the thin layer or dirt and sand
I must've passed by it thousands, tens of thousands of times
paid it no mind
until it was no longer there
Now where the hell was it?
Did the authorities finally decide to tow it?
And if so did they know that truck was somebody's home?
I never learned his name
but I heard he moved in there after the war. State gave him enough money to buy a small apartment or something, but he chose that old truck
some people are bums by choice
Walking by I'd see him in arid summer days sitting behind the wheel windows rolled down a stumpy cigarette between his lips a small chapbook in his hand
Never got to see the title but I do recall the image on the cover 't was a burning tree with one shadowy, just vaguely human silhouette hanging from it
He probably wasn't the kind of man you'd want to have in your circles and perhaps his image dirtied the overall aura of the neighborhood
I don't know Don't care
All I do know now is that I'll never get the chance to walk up to his truck and ask him what he's reading and show him that I too have chapbooks of my own now
the voice says, "Now wait a heartbeat. What is this? Don't you think you're a bit too happy now? The hell you think you're doing!? Trying to leave your nature behind? Become a new man? Haha! Alright then. Good luck. I mean, we both know it won't work just like it didn't work on your previous attempts either."
I get out of bed
look around
Not for the voice, of course
Only for reasons to doubt it for just one more day
I'm not really bothered to see that everyone and their grandma gambles on their smartphone, I just wish they wouldn't be so damn serious about it
like it's a life or death game
I could go on babbling about the dangers of technology and social media and all that shit but nah, I'm not trying to sound more pretentious than I already am
Short and to the point I fucking hate casinos
especially now that they're viral in the online world
Now gambling is superior to gaming
It's cool to be a gambler to earn big cash an' all that
the gamblers are the new influencers the super stars
It's the new East European dream
To make it big at the slots or the roulette or blackjack or whatever
Imagine walking down the street and you hear a bunch of young adults screaming at their phone screens "Fuck that cherry! Had it been a fuckin seven I would've been a millionaire now. Fuck!"
Ten or fifteen years ago it would not have been normal
now it is
Tomorrow we'll see what else comes up
But until then
I'll count myself among the haters and say it again
and the clubs and the bars and the restaurants and all the venues fill up with souls hunting for entertainment
Not doing anything entertaining on the weekend is associated with failure
to fail to find entertainment on a weekend is to be a failure
a weekend with nothing to post on social media is one hard blow to one’s social status
nobody wants to be in those shoes so they keep hunting for entertainment
Meanwhile… Well, haha, how beautiful it would’ve been to be able to say that I am my own form of entertainment and that I go into the silence and meditate and find the entertainment within myself while all others seek it outside
but c’mon no one can afford being that pretentious
Daydreaming as a profession 