what else to do when the rain falls so heavy against the window outside?
Get melancholic get poetic have a drink have another
close and then lock the door to your room and don't listen to the voices coming from outside They want to distract you They don't want you to be successful and make it in life
They're all haters
He covered his ears and squinted his eyes at the computer screen doing his best to block out the negativity that came from beyond the door
“I can't get up!” the voice croaked. “Come help me. I can't get up.” And then with a cry, “Please!”
“Shut the fuck up, grandma! I'm trying to write in here. Jesus Christ, I'm trying to make it big, don't you understand? For fuck's sake now.”
He had also sent a manuscript to a potential publisher and was waiting for a reply. It's been two days already
The house doesn't feel like home, mother. Not since you left for the other world after father left for another house from outside town
Now there's just me here. And my older brother who is younger than me mentally and will remain so for the rest of his life He still hears whispers coming from every dark corner of the house and because of this our electric bill is enormous
I can no longer take this
I'm not strong enough
I'm not willing enough
This cross is too damn heavy. It's breaking my back, breaking my soul
I want to get a better job and eventually a car and a wife and start a family
I can't do that while taking care of my troubled brother
I quit.
Tonight I will make his nightmares come true The electricity will go out and suddenly the whispers that come from the dark will become voices and then screams and they'll get him
A rabbit can die if it gets too scared. I believe this is also valid for my troubled brother. I'll only make sure to leave a few sharp objects near him
I know he'll do it
And I'm sorry that he'll do it but there's no other way to break this shackle
One day I'll debate the issue with you, mother But for now you can't argue with me
at 08:22 he awakens and pushes away the tarp he uses as blanket
he’s already dressed up and wears shoes
looks around at the blackening dampness of the walls
stretches a bit
takes off his coat and the blouse and the shirt and the tank-top
grabs a tissue wets it with rubbing alcohol and uses it to wash his armpits. He knows it’s good for killing the bad smelling bacteria
He knows much about how the world works for he’d been to school and even one year of collage in his youth
When his armpits dry he dresses up and gets out and checks under the big flower pots that stand before the entry to the building
He is wise to keep his savings there Otherwise the others would’ve smelled it on him and would’ve robbed him a long time ago He counts the money and feels satisfied with the sum
At 09:30 he eats a warm meal at the local soup kitchen and turns down four bums who ask to borrow money
At 10:10 he walks up to the big casino and enters
Now his imagination kicks in
Behind the entry he is greeted with luxury, he walks on the red carpet and sees the bright lights and the game attendants who greet him like a king
He is the king in his vision and he had returned to his castle
He smiles and walks around leisurely
A man needs to have but a clear vision of a bright future to live a happy present
He finds a seat in front of a slot machine
puts the money into the bill acceptor and starts playing
He is one of the happiest customers the casino ever had
Daydreaming as a profession 