wasted years in a picture

Wasted years

What do they look like?
Can you show in a picture?

He nodded to himself
as he thought
about it

Of course
who other than him to know
what wasted years look like

After 45 years spent inside
a box he was qualified to
judge. And it wasn’t
even prison. It was the office.
Accounting.

45 years

And today...
Today he was the 65-year-old
photographer
who raised the camera before
the mirror and snapped
a selfie
and said
“I am wasted years.”

just some average guy with an interesting life

quite a few times she had to ask
him why he was
so shy

He thought it was just
normal to be
shy on a first date
no matter how many other dates you've
been on with other girls

He was afraid of getting
too deep into
relationships, mainly because girls didn't
like guys who still lived
with their parents

He lived with his
father
who worked as a butcher
His clothes were always stained by blood
and smelled of salt and iron
but worst of all
was that he
was drunk more often than not

About thirty minutes into
the date his phone
rang and he excused himself to
answer. It was his father

"Listen buddy. I kinda need your
help."

"Dad, I kinda need you to understand that
I can't save your ass every time
you get in trouble thanks
to your drinking. I'm busy
right now."

"Oh? Too busy to help
your old man?"

"Bye."

"No, no, no, wait! Listen. It's just
a simple thing this time. You just have to
tell the police that your
father is a butcher and that the
eyeball they found in his rectum belongs to
a pig and not a human being, okay?"

"Dad, what the fuck?"

"Please!"

He hung up
walked back to the table
sat down
smiled

"Problems?" his date asked.

"No, no. My father asked for
a ride. I told him I can't right now. It's
okay though. Nothing urgent or
important."

"Father, huh? Must be nice having one."

"Oh, you don't…?"

She smiled. "Nevermind that. But anyway,
speaking of fathers, you think you'll
be a good one?"

"Huh?"

"Cuz I surely won't be the best
mother. See, I just found out days ago
that my ex-boyfriend got me
pregnant. You think
you'll be a good daddy?"

"Um… I think my dad's calling
again…"

ghosts

but unfortunately they aren't
real

You spend a whole childhood
not wanting ghosts
to be real
only to one day
reach adulthood and
wander from empty room to empty
room hoping
foolishly that the
wife that cancer took away
would whisper something to you

anything

hunger

those cold evenings
coming inside
the house and crying
"Mom, I'm hungry."

A whirl on the heels
A stare colder than
the outside weather
Hands on her hips
"Show me your tongue."

The little mouth opens
and the tongue
comes out

She stares at it
and then grabs it between
her thumb and index
and studies it, gives it
a rub and
declares: "No. You're not that
hungry. Get out of
here and leave me alone."

And her words carry the finality
of God's words from
the Bible
because she is the god of this
small world
and her word is law

the outsider

my neighbor from upstairs
claims that
God sticks
post-it notes on his
fridge overnight

I did ask him
what they said but
he only told me that I'll
have to follow
him to church if
I want to find out

I'm generally not a very
curious guy
so I declined
and, what do you know, few
days later I see
lots of other
people following my
neighbor to church

They all looked the
other way when
I passed by them and said hi

Thing is
I don't even doubt
God spoke to my neighbor
through post-it notes
and gave a lot of people hope

I just
like being the outsider
more than I like
being hopeful

infected

He just had to stand
walk to the kitchen
open the fridge
get a can of beer
open it
and come back to the desk
sit down and lean back in the chair

was this something to
laugh about?
Cry?
Ignore?

He emptied the can
with gulps rather than sips
to get as drunk as possible
with a 4.5% alcohol concentration

He sighed
and opened the laptop again
Stared at it

double-clicked the internet browser
pressed Ctrl and then H

A history full of porn

on his widowed mom’s laptop

Of course it kept getting infected
with viruses
and she brought it over to be fixed

Those websites were from the
very shady family of porn websites

He would’ve grabbed another beer
but there was none left

Better just get back to work and
fix mom’s laptop
What else to do?
Fifteen or so years ago she surely knew
what he was doing with that missing
pair of panties and that bra
She wasn’t dumb.

The wheel turns

Just like one of those titles from the
history list said:
“Busty slut stuck in cart wheel gets anally raped by hillbillies”

He clicked it

So they asked ‘what does your ideal girl look like?’

4779 digital pages filled
with ramblings
about feelings

thousands of
grammar and
spelling mistakes

a broken heart
consuming itself

a final 'goodbye' that came
out of a lover’s mouth long ago
still echoing in the ears

a stadium-load of cockroaches
and rats partying
in the house

a mailbox chocking
on unpaid bills

her room a mass grave
of empty bottles
snowed with ash

no income

electricity about to
be cut off

and she’s still
writing

answering the call

he downs the second bottle
of wine
and then curses the
beer for not
tasting as good

the rectangular desk before
him looks round
now
and his chair grows wheels

all the insects in the
apartment
crawl under the
clock on the wall
and spin the hands
backwards

lots of things are happening
but the
story before him doesn't
write itself
The paper is still pale
the pen
still frozen
The next word will never come
out
let alone the next line

He leans back
and the demon calls from
the other side of the window
and tells him
to hurry up

"That's not how
writing works," he whispers back

But he doesn't
know how
it works anymore

So he just stands
and walks to
the window
opens it
and answers
the call

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started