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It's the little things that tell
the difference
but many times there's no observer
to notice them
Little things like
ignoring all the beer in the fridge
and going straight for the cupboard
where the tea bags
stood untouched for years
Chamomile
Caramel
Pear
A fine combination
He took out one little bag
and filled the kettle with water
and placed it on the electric stove
and looked out the window
while waiting for the steam to whistle
Rainy weather outside
Overcast weather inside, in his heart
Also he had no smokes left
and no one to smoke them with
so he took the lighter from inside his
pocket and lit it
against the glass of the window
and said to the flame, "You said
you'd leave. But you
never left. It was a lie. Else why do
I feel you closer now than when your
body stood right next to mine? Doesn't
make sense. You never left…"
The glass started to blacken around
the flame and he retreated it
"You never left," he said. "You are so close
now and had taken over so much
of my mind that I started doing
the things
you loved and I hated."
The kettle whistled
behind him
He turned around.
"You never left…"
He went nine years without doing
it. Five of those
were spent in prison so it
was just normal
but the other four he spent
desperately trying and failing
He did look fine before
he got into hardcore drugs
and crime
Well, there was this
cute drug dealer
down the block
from whom he kept buying
only to get to see
her and try to strike up a
conversation
He didn't care that
she was pregnant
He called up almost daily to
meet up and
buy but he wasn't too
good at
conversation. Had no game,
as others would put it
And on the other side
she wasn't so
good at putting the products
together
She constantly laced the weed with
some other shit
and one such shit was so
bad that
when he smoked it
he got all horny and creative
and desperate
He grabbed a black
permanent marker and
drew a cunt across his
left forearm
It wasn't good enough so he
cut it open with
a razor and began to
lick at it and finger it
around the bone
and eventually fuck it until
he came
He came about four, five
times until
he passed out