Tag: depression

Eye Nails by Bogdan Dragos

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Terveen Gill's avatarChewers by Masticadores

A rusted iron mask upon a stoned wall with rusted chains as hair and beard
Image Source: Canva Pro

dreaming of being

tied to some boulder

with chains

then the face gets covered

by a heavy mask

and

iron nails get

hammered through the

thing’s eyeholes

and into the

bearer’s eyes

they’ve got hooks

at the other

ends

to make sure

the mask doesn’t

slide off

It holds together

so well

it’s perfect

when everything gets painted

red

it’s time to wake up

into yet

another day in which

nobody gives a damn

about your soul

If you’re late for work,

they’ll ask where

you are, sure. But as long

as you’re there,

they’d never ask

how you are.

How did you sleep last

night

Are you eating well

are you

ever

having fun

Is your existence ever

just a bit

different

from

perfect, gray monotony

You still carrying that

faded

suicide note

in your pocket

You gonna do anything

about your

mental health

You…

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4

there is a middle way, apparently by Bogdan Dragos

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j re crivello's avatarMasticadoresAfrica

It's late 23:58 not many buildings around and even less people a few trees and bushes and a mostly empty parking lot I walk towards my car when she comes out from behind the yellow dumpster approaching me holding a clinking piggy-bank in her pale outstretched hands “No thanks,” I said and resumed my walking, checking my pockets for the car key “But,” she said, “if you don't take it I won't be able to haunt you tonight.” I stopped Turned around Walked back a few steps to face her again I pulled out a coin and tossed it into the small opening of the piggy-bank There is a middle way, apparently If you have an infinite amount of coin tosses you have a possibility of landing it on neither heads nor tails Eventually, it'll land on its edge and stay so I think it did on that night I'm…

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1

Two Disowned Souls by Bogdan Dragos

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Terveen Gill's avatarChewers by Masticadores

A woman standing with a wine glass in her hand and her head tilted to the side while a man sits diagonally behind her with a wine glass in one hand and wine bottle in the other
Image Source: Canva Pro

those were some

seriously

tired eyes

Some people are just

born

with them

It’s not a matter of

getting enough

sleep

The tiredness

is in the soul itself

He looked forty

though he was

twenty-two

and as she told her

friends

(with the family she

didn’t talk)

she found him in a bar,

passed out

under the table

“I kicked the fool in

the side, lightly,

and the next thing I know

he’s humping my leg

and calling me ‘mommy’.

How can you

not take a boy like him home

and fuck him?

Well, admittedly I was

pretty drunk.” she laughed.

“Anyway, I’m still holding

on to him

to this day. Did you

know that he writes poetry?

Of all things, hah! He writes

these honeyed love poems

and reads them to me

and I pay him with some liquor

and a good fuck.

We’re pretty…

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0

It’s just normal in dreams by Bogdan Dragos

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Terveen Gill's avatarChewers by Masticadores

A woman in a sleeping state morphed with her in a semi seated state with her hand on her forehead
Image Source: Canva Pro

“Yeah,” she said, “my father was

not the friendliest

drunk in the

neighborhood

and he’s

definitely not missed

now that he no longer

troubles anyone. But

you know, I did learn something

from him, alright.”

Listening to

her words, he poured another

glass for himself

and then

one for her. “What could

you learn from a

man like him, darling?”

She took her glass

and smiled

and licked her lips, biting

the lower one

as she stared at him

before she drank. “See, this

is what I like

about you. You’re the opposite

of my father. You’re

the friendly type of drunk. The

type that betters the

party rather than ruining it.

I can love a man

like that to death, I

really can.”

She drank and made kissing

motions with her

red lips

at him

“Anyway, about my father. From

him I learned that

dreams

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9

just four walls by Bogdan Dragos

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j re crivello's avatarMasticadoresAfrica

there is something about
walls
and man's
inborn need
to be surrounded by them

It's those who
grew up
not surrounded by them
that know best

Last night
was
for him
the first night spent
alone between four walls
in a long, long time

and it wasn't even
a jail cell

It was a
rented room in the basement
of a building

Small, narrow, yet big
with emptiness

Just a bed, a wardrobe,
a desk and
a chair

and nothing else was needed
to feel fulfilled
and to dream of
something so warm and wholesome
as a woman
sitting on a pillow
on the floor,
holding a cotton swab in one
hand and inviting with
the other, pointing to
her lap

Heaven

Four walls, man. Only four
walls and a break
from the madness outside
and there you have it

Heaven

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5

to outcrazy the crazies by Bogdan Dragos

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j re crivello's avatarMasticadoresAfrica

She ordered drinks, but would take them in plastic cups so she could enjoy them outside the bar on the steps “She thinks she's too good for us,” said the other girls. “Doesn't wanna drink with losers.” “She's just crazy,” said another girl. “Leave her be.” “That's her art and the thing she's best at,” said another girl. “This girl, oh, she can out-crazy all the crazies. I like her. Love her. It wasn't that long ago when she was approached outside in the darkness by some thug-looking dude who invited her into the back alley and she agreed. But, she removed her clothes right there on the steps. An' pulled a goddamned switchblade from between her legs. Told the guy that she doesn't take money. Tongue, ear, eye, or finger, she told him. Asked, which would you like me to carve out and tuck neatly in my lady pocket…

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7

I know that I know nothing by Bogdan Dragos

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j re crivello's avatarMasticadoresAfrica

they scolded the old man and threatened to kick him out of the neighborhood “You're stinking up the place, old fool!” But he only rocked in his chair and poured another glass and raised it to them in salute and drank and smiled in spite of their frowns He lived in the city of 770 universities. The city of intellectuals, of the highest, most educated, most elevated minds the world had to offer To live here one must be either a grade A student or a published and acknowledged author or artist The authorities allowed this old man on account of being a poet but the citizens, with all their education and knowledge and diplomas would never understand that decision Professors of philosophy offered him as example to the students. “This over here,” they've said, “is the stereotype of the man who stops searching for truth on account of taking…

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10

at the edge of your blade, and always inside the fire by Bogdan Dragos

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j re crivello's avatarMasticadoresAfrica

standing naked on the wide window sill she struck a match and lit her cigarette and dragged deep listening to the tobacco sizzling inside and giving up smoke “It's not some special gift,” she says. “I don't hear things that others can't hear. It's just awareness. Being aware of the things others hear but never notice.” “Damn,” he said from the reflection in the window pane. “So everyone else is haunted. They hear and see it, but they just lack the awareness to acknowledge it?” She put her head against the glass and exhaled smoke on his reflection, painting his barb-wire limbs gray. Her good eye fixed on his snake head with a wet feather for tongue. She said, “That's right, love. Now, how about we go and set fire to a fire station?” “How will it be different from last time?” he asked She laughed. “It won't be. And…

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9

Hold on to Hope, Everybody by Bogdan Dragos

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Terveen Gill's avatarChewers by Masticadores

A black and white image of young woman lying on a wooden floor and covering her eyes with her palms
Image Source: Canva Pro

she was the girl who told everybody

to hold on to hope

while she hid in her bedroom

at night and cut herself

She’d pass the razor blade

by the side

of her ankles

and then crouch so as to lick

and slurp

the blood

swirl it around her mouth

until it lost its salty, iron taste

and then swallow

She always wore pants

never a skirt

and she was the girl who

told everybody to hold on to hope

until the last moment

She would climb on the roof

and smoke menthol cigarettes while

watching the stars in the sky

and slowly, slowly drift into touching

herself

I don’t even know her name

but I would like to

ask her

to be my muse

-BOGDAN DRAGOS

Bogdan Dragos supervises casinos for a gambling company, working twelve-hour shifts locked in a dark office full of TV…

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5

pigeons with glass shards in their wings

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j re crivello's avatarMasticadoresAfrica

time flies differently when you stand alone in a room and think about the past with regret Pigeons with glass shards in their wings, reflecting sunlight in their fall. That's how time moves lately “It's gotta be a long time ago,” he said. “I know it's gotta be a long time ago because the times I've thought about it were so damn numerous. I was just... Just walking back home when I saw her. On the side of the road, covered by her black hooded jacket. Black stockings on slim legs. In high, black boots with elevated soles. Her face totally concealed by the shade of the hood. Yet as I passed by her I saw the paleness of her features. Big eyes locked with mine. A cold snap in my very soul. I just... kept going. Too afraid to even look back. And the more I walked ahead and…

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7

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