In five years.
I don't know where I'll be in
five years
I promised to myself that
I'll be an official published writer
and never told anyone about it
never told my mother about it
but perhaps in
five years
I'll just come home
drunk and vomit all over the
toilet bowl and sink and my shoes
and shirt and I'll fall face down
on the cold tiles and break
my front teeth
and never smile again
It's no myth, it happened before
but I was living with my
grandmother at that time and it
was perhaps the shock of her life
Yet she forgave me
even when I couldn't forgive myself
All I could do was come up with
promises, like
my very soul was a woman whom
I've wronged so damn bad that
I'll have to sacrifice something
of equal or higher value to make up
for it and even after I'd make up
for it things would just
not be the same as before

So I promised myself that I'll get
seriously serious about writing
and do it consistently and
ignore distractions like friends
and girlfriends and pastimes
and eating and sleeping
I would only go to work in order to
earn enough to survive modestly
and spend the rest of my
existence writing and writing
and writing

I wrote so badly that retarded people
could look down on me with pity
and not much changed
But I wrote a lot
And as long as the goal put
volume over quality the goal would be met

Well, all this writing taught
me something
in the
end.
Taught me that sacrifice is the
key to anything one could wish for
in life.
And the sacrifice gets you what
you wished for precisely
at the time when you no longer want it 

A sewage cleaner
that's what the happy man was
but it was not why he was happy

they said his fiance
announced she was pregnant
and she probably was his
fiance because she was pregnant

and she moved in with him
in his bachelor apartment
and were living quite crammed and
she didn't go out much so
they couldn't tell if she was
as happy as him

the reason he was the talk of the office
was the resignation letter he submitted
in the morning
No one even knew his name before that
and no one noticed he was happy
and no one will see him ever again
but they
will remember him
and his
happy face
and will gossip and make
up stories about him


It's there even a doubt? they'll say
That child's not his, man.
Just more proof that women can
get what they want without working
She got pregnant by someone who
didn't want her and found
this fool, moved in with him
and profits. That simple, yeah.

I heard he raped her while
drunk

He used drugs as well,
I mean, that happy face... uh...

To tell you the truth, she's
mentally ill, the wife to be. That condition...
it makes you think with an eight year old's
mind even though you're an adult.

Retardation?

Yeah, an' you can guess how she got pregnant
with him.

Gods, what a despicable individual. And to think
that we worked in the same place with him.
All this time and had no idea.

Yeah, I heard that she's retarded but not only
Guess what, she's a blood relative of him,
some cousin. I don't know how the hell
but she got in his care and... Look what's
happened now. Crazy.

No, no, guys, seriously now. The devil's not
as dark as y'all point out now. She's not
retarded or a blood relative
to him. Just the one
prostitute with whom the
condom happened
to break. These things happen,
it's nothing to laugh about. Now she pretty
much owns him, I guess.
For the next few months at least.

Surely you mean years
I think she actually scammed him

Yeah, it's a common thing with
'em whores. When they feel like going on
a vacation they get pregnant and sue some
fool for child support and go all semi queens
'n shit.
the condom doesn't have to break
they just have to keep it afterwards
and put the stuff inside.
So take heed, gentlemen. Always be
flushing your used condoms down
the toilet if you want to avoid
the ultimate misery. Throwing
'em in the trash bin is not enough anymore

Oh, damn, that's hella good advice, man
Wonder why we don't see more of
them used condoms in the sewers we clean

Shit, that stands to prove that the
world is full of men who don't
raise their own children

How?

You shut up, new guy! Get back to work now. 
Jesus, the nerve of this rookie... 

Somehow it's always the
people that
are most alone who
know the most about
people

here's one undeniable fact:
all of them, everybody, everyone
loves and seeks constantly
to get high

the loners
will drink and pretend
to meditate and
the social ones
will party and fuck and the dull minded
will explain how smart they are
and the truly intelligent will turn
sadistic
and the ugly ones will be
more outgoing and the pretty ones will
get knocked up more

the rich will buy the children of the
poor as sex slaves and the
poor will fill plastic bags
and balloons with feces and would
leave them in the sun and will inhale
the vapors
The middle class will seek more
friends, acquaintances, relationships,
dealers, promotions, real estate,
festivals, explosions. They will always
love explosions of any kind, the bigger and
louder the better

and the young boys will think
of old girls and bully other
young boys to assert dominance and
both those things will get them hard
and high on hormones

politicians will aim to imitate the rich
and poets will aim to imitate the poor

rich singers will sing of how
poor they are
and poor singers will sing of how
they came from rags to riches
and those with a small penis will buy a huge car
and short people will be more aggressive
and the losers will shout "It's not
a contest, you guys..."
and the women of high pride will
adopt one more cat. Forty-two should
be enough, right?
The most outrageous ideologists will
buy megaphones, collect them

weak men will brag about owning
weapons and the right
to use them

the youth will talk to each other
before seeing each other
and the girls will want to know
how tall the boy is and the boy will ask
how much the girl weights and then
he'll be hated so much, so passionately
And the smart girls will use dating
to get free drinks and meals
And the people who play games will
turn to suicide when the artists who
design characters won't do
something exclusively for them, "I want
this character to act like she loves me back!"

the women who love to travel will be
accused of loving to travel because
they secretly wish they got raped

the most valuable of people will become
those who get famous precisely
for having no talent
and everyone will want to
invest in them
so the masses will see them
and feel a bit better about
themselves
No one wants to support the
superior but all laugh
when the inferior acts royal

and "how do you masturbate?"
the journalists will ask the
interviewed hermit

Why are there no hermit women?
Are there no women hermits?

Look, those big companies are
fighting over the right to lie to the
population

fake
fake
Fake

Knowledge is not power anymore
The ability to escape the loop is
and they who are not even caught
in the loop in the first place are
gods 

I'm getting busy in the office at work
listening and analyzing the lyrics
of albums I can find on YouTube
there are a few

Right now, the artist is talking about
choking a whore with a cable
and spitting into her mouth as she
gasps for air and struggles
to scream
and then he says he'll
thrust his penis into her
dead mouth and will
feel like mouth fucking a fish

afterwards the artist
goes on a killing spree
in the streets and
throws racial slurs at those about
to be shot

he also shoots the police

what an interesting life this man
must lead

I mean, it says on the cover of the
album and he said it in the
intro that he's describing his life
in this work

impressive, truly
impressive

but you know, I too am a bit of a
hardcore lifer

I'm sitting in this comfy office,
in a comfy chair, surrounded by monitors,
sipping Irish coffee, because I'm so hardcore
that I smuggled a pint of cheap whiskey
here and poured into a coffee

and I'm using a screen to look at
photos of girls who work as
game attendants in the casinos I
supervise through cameras
and also, I swatted a mosquito on
some other screen

and I look at the bigger picture and
think to myself
Eh, what a live...
Drugs, women, murder...

and lyrics about 'em

Damn. 

R.I.P
my name below in
The Bookman Old Style font
And then
"He Never Stopped Writing"

Really, to have this engraved on my
tombstone feels more important than
all other goals and wishes
more important than buying a house or
starting a family or a business,
going on a trip around the world,
winning the lottery, having real friends,
building... Ah, but what am I talking about?
Forgive me, I am drunk
and when I am drunk I crawl
under the skin
of some character that's not me

those aren't my goals and
wishes
me, I want to have "He never stopped
writing" engraved on my tombstone
more than I wish I was the only
human being left on planet Earth.
And that is really something,
believe me
Not to be at all is better than
to be and to love it, love that you are
and...
Hold on, there's a character here
who doesn't agree with me
Shame, just when I thought I was
done killing them

"He never stopped disagreeing
with his
creator"

R.I.P 

The philosophers are still trying,
still striving to answer to
the age
old
question: What is a poem?

Sure, they figured what's the
meaning of life and other
metaphysical truths but
poetry...

And what is not a poem?

a to-do list is a poem

the obituaries are poems

that curse word followed by
racial slurs scribbled on the
inside of the cabin, probably
with shit, is poetry

blood spilled writes poetry
just as well as does the one
contained

a well landed punch is not weaker
poetry than one missing

to chew sand is to make poetry
and it's not lesser than chewing
bread

to rip a piece of paper and
place it under your fingernail
and hold the finger above
a burning candle is to make
poetry

to fall from a tree and lay down
while being chewed by wild dogs
is to be poetic

to let death win without a fight
or to greet it with open arms
or to bully it into taking you
is to create a poem

and to remain silent when the world is
loud... Ah, not many can create such
poems but those who do make them
exceptional

you're an alright poet if you can tie a
knot and you become a good poet
if you can turn the knot
into a noose and you grow to be
a great poet if you can put the noose
around your throat

luckily the world has some
great poets

but the world also has godlike poets

I wonder what they do