bachelorette party

The driver:
He’s got the best chance
at survival in a car crash

That’s why he made it
and the other three didn’t

Having the seat belt on
also helped immensely

Knowing that the accident
would happen was also
a plus

Yep, the only minus of the situation
was having to pretend
he had PTSD and depression
and whatnot
for causing the deaths
of three close friends

who had talked his fiancé
into a gangbang
the night before

fade away

FADE AWAY

why was there a poster in his room
that said FADE AWAY?

It’s been around
since forever
now that he thought about it

and until today
there was no reason
to even think about it
Life was happening fast

It happened so fast
that it’s been 52 years
since the day he was born

Today there was nothing left to do
but observe the poster
that said FADE AWAY

And there was nothing else to do
not because he’d done it all
but because he didn’t do shit

52 years and nothing done
Nothing worthwhile anyway

Values change, man
Oh, how they change, how they change

One day you’re young
and you think failure and ridicule
and shame are what suck

well, you’re not wrong

but

some days later you’re old
and you realize nothing sucks more
than not risking failure
and ridicule and shame
when…

134

“The angriest I ever got,” she said,
“Was with an ex-boyfriend, of course.
I just wanted him to die.
But like, not casual wanting him to die.
Really, really wishing with all my might
that he’d drop dead.
I felt I couldn’t go on living
as long as I knew he was alive.
I had to do something about it.
I was literally about to explode.
So, to prevent that, I got dressed
and despite the rain and all
I went straight to the nearest pet shop.
Bought me a hamster.
And with a red marker,
I wrote my boyfriend’s name
on its back.
And then slammed that hamster
against the wall 134 times.
For the 134 hours we’d been together.
I calmed down after that.
But, you know,
I don’t like talking
about myself all that much.
Tell me about yourself.
Also, what should we get
from the…