he downs the second bottle
of wine
and then curses the
beer for not
tasting as good

the rectangular desk before
him looks round
now
and his chair grows wheels

all the insects in the
apartment
crawl under the
clock on the wall
and spin the hands
backwards

lots of things are happening
but the
story before him doesn't
write itself
The paper is still pale
the pen
still frozen
The next word will never come
out
let alone the next line

He leans back
and the demon calls from
the other side of the window
and tells him
to hurry up

"That's not how
writing works," he whispers back

But he doesn't
know how
it works anymore

So he just stands
and walks to
the window
opens it
and answers
the call

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but hell was just a floor below

in the living room

There was a blazing fire

in the fireplace

and there were plenty of screams

coming from mother and father

They argued again

And from upstairs, locked in her

dim room, she knew that

the gnashing of teeth and the shattering

of glass would not be late

in echoing through the walls

They always liked to break glasses

and bottles in the fireplace

while arguing

The fireplace was full of

sparkling shards now

She still remembered the afternoon

her little cousin came to

visit with aunt and uncle and not knowing

any better he tried to pick

the sparkling treasure from the

cold ashes of the fireplace

and cut himself pretty

bad

But who knows,

perhaps there really was a treasure in

that fireplace

Whenever mom and dad left the house

she would stand before the

cold fireplace

and watch the sparkling ashes

like a starry night sky

and would start daydreaming

It worked for a while

but then she just had to reach higher

She had to reach to the stars

and remove the biggest she could find

and slice her wrists or ankles with it

The sight of her own blood

emerging from the shallow cut calmed her

down a great deal

And when mother and father were

in the house, arguing as usual and breaking

stuff

she had her scabs to scratch and peel off and

chew on

That also provided her with a

great sense of calm

But unfortunately mother and father

hadn’t been out in a long while

They’d have to get out

soon

because their dearest daughter had

started plucking her hair already

and that could turn into a problem. She could

end up looking less pretty than

she was with only

the cuts and scabs

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the last time they
saw him
happy
was when he told them about
that weird dream
he had
in which wine
poured from the tap in
his kitchen

and that
was it

he had nothing else
in life to
be happy about

They didn’t need to
ask his
profession

Somehow they
all knew
he was a
poet

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there's been a collection of
rather
dark thoughts lately

and he was
studying it from the comfort
of his bed

The other day he found a good pillow
in the dumpster
and used it to cover the spot
on the mattress where the
rusty springs emerged
Now the bed was fine again

good enough for
daydreaming

After you've tried out all herbs
and powders
all that's left are the dreams

the daydreams
and the nightdreams
and the nightmares
and the daymares

On another day spent dumpster diving
he'd found a plastic bag
with about six severed hands
They were still cold

some mafia shit was going on
in the city

He took them home
and tried to cook them
hoping to obtain at least some bits of meat

He had no pan and of course no oil
so he impaled them with iron
rods at the writs
and placed them upright in a barrel
he lit up

He sat back watching them
smelling them

Higher on hunger than on the herbs
he'd smoked

And then he'd realized
that they were women's hands
and fantasized about
them springing to life and crawling over
him and doing things to him

It gave him a hard on
or perhaps the illusion of one

but regardless
that was a fun night

The closest he came to having females
over. Some who cooked and
fed him after the fun time

He'll remember that night
for the rest of
his life

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she never finished college
but she was a pill expert
and took pride in it

"Here, this one'll make you rock
against your will. You'd need some."

"Not me," I said

"You afraid?"

"Yes."

"Hahahahaaa, afraid o' some pills, boy?
D' you know what being afraid of
this stuff's called around here?"

"I don't know what's called around here
I'll call it wisdom where I'm at. No
pills for me, thanks."

"Wow, you're such a pussy, ain't ya?
Oh, well that's too bad, I guess.
Would've been fun to rock the bed tonight
but I ain't lookin' for no pussy. I wanna give that."

She gave it to one of my friends along with
some sketchy looking pills
and from that night on they were a couple
of some sorts for a little over a month

And when she took the right pills
she talked in the wrong ways
In her sleep
to the walls
to her cat
to her left foot, but whispering
so the right won't hear

And when she was on pills she would have
her new boyfriend hold her phone
and not allow her to answer if her dad called
Her dad didn't call too often but
somehow managed to call when she was on pills
He just wanted to check how college's going
not knowing she'd quit
or was expelled
months ago

"Ah, my daddy would so kill me
if he found out. Like, yeah, he'd kill me as fuck!
But that's all right. I'm all right.
I know this dude who prints 'em, makes 'em
look like the real thing.
Just give 'im the ID an' cash
and you're good. I'll be good."

Well, I don't know
I guess wisdom comes in many, many forms
that friend of mine she hooked up
with considered it wise to
one day just tell her father the truth

The phone rang for the fourth time
and she was lying in bed
naked with froth about her lips
and eyes staring up into her skull
probably looking for salvation or something
He answered and introduced himself to her father
and told him everything,
even switched to video call to show the man his daughter
He thought he'd save her life this way

Sacrifice the relationship to save your partner's life
I guess that's wise

She went into rehab, I heard
and, what do you know, a few years later
she's married and pregnant
I wonder how wise her husband is... 

there’s nothing good on TV
when you’re in
a crap mood

“Shit,” he thought. “Nothing’s gonna be
good on TV for
the next 18 years. At least.”

he sighed
and shifted his position on
the couch

four days till New Year’s Eve
and he already
got the greatest
gift one could wish for. A positive
pregnancy test from
his girlfriend

Oh, he was over the
moon
and everybody knew

“Meh, I don’t need TV. I’m
the best actor
I’ve seen…”

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