father wasn’t very happy
when he came home
in the night

his little girl,
playing video games
and enjoying snacks
and having an occasional sip from
mother’s wine and cider on
the couch in the living room
at 01:27 AM,
could tell

Father was very sad
even though he came home
with
money and a car full of stuff

He shied away from
mother’s kiss and hug

“What the fuck’s with you?”
mother asked,
seeing him like that. “You got
caught or somethin’?”

Father looked down
at his shoes. “I’d rather get caught...”

“What?” said mother

“I said… Ah, forget it. I can’t
do this shit anymore. This
is no way
to live life!” He reached into all
the pockets of his pants
and coat and fished out money,
very crumpled bills, and threw them
to the floor. “Look at this.
Look at it and think. In six days
it’s Christmas! And the children from the
foster home I’ve burglarized
are all going to find out they’ve been
on Santa’s naughty list.
Holy shit, I feel like… shit right now…”

“Huh? Is that it? Guilt?
Really? You feel
guilty now? What’s this, a sign
of getting old?”

“If not
then it should be,” he said. “The
two of us grew up in
a foster home just like that
one, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” she said, “and we hated
every second of it. So what? We
didn’t get presents
for Christmas. We were
lucky if we got more food and
an extra hour of TV, dammit. Kids today
are too privileged. Fuck ‘em
an’ let’s count this cash.” She
went on her knees
and started collecting
the crumpled bills.

He stepped
away from her. “I need
a break from this.”

“Bullshit,” she said. “What you
need, darling, is to first
of all stop being
a pussy, you’re embarrassing yourself
in front of your daughter, and
second you need a
strong drink and a good fuck. I can
take care of the last two, but
the first one is
up to you alone, okay? Oh, by the way,
did you also steal a new
tablet? I broke another one
today.”

“And a phone charger
for me,” said
their daughter from the couch.
“I didn’t break it. Just can’t
find it anywhere.”

He sighed
and took off his shoes
and went into the bathroom to
take a shower,
unable to get those poor children
off his mind. He hated
himself

“Shit,” he said.

From the living room
his wife and
daughter started blasting really
loud music with
over the top, obnoxious
and dirty lyrics

“This is my life now,” he
whispered against
the water that flowed down from
the top of his head. I was better off
in the foster home. Sometimes it’s
better to be hurt by
others and struggle to stay alive
than to
know the only way you can
stay alive is by hurting others.
It’s times
like these that make me
think about
what that nun said to me
in the foster home when I learned
to write. You’ve a knack for it,
she said. I see a great
future for you as
a writer. Believe in yourself
and keep at it.
Shit… if I kept at it… I’d probably
write a story about a
sad burglar now
instead of living it…