and I don't know whether he's the main character or just one of them
but I see him going to middle school in ragged clothes, carrying an ancient backpack on his frail shoulders
As if especially to look more like a fragment ripped from a folk tale he carries bread crumbs in his pockets and takes a fistful and tosses it to the pigeons as he passes by the park
pauses
stares at the birds for a minute or two
and the birds stare back
and he resumes his unhurried pace, this time with the faintest of smiles on his face
"His mother died four years ago," the muse tells me. "Another drunk driving incident not different from the rest. She just came home from work and crossed the street when one of God's drunkest drivers hit her and didn't even stop to check. Now the boy spends his days in grief. He'll never know that the same driver who murdered his mother is the man who participated in giving him life and raised him. It's... a weird story."
"Damn," I say. "Must you always be so needlessly dark?"
"I forgot to add that he's getting bullied every day in school and thinks of leaving this world entirely even more than his father does. Unlike the old man, he hadn't yet discovered alcohol so that kinda explains a lot."
"Eh, I don't know," I say. "I'm not in the mood for another tragedy. Don't we have enough depressing stories?"
"There's never enough depressing stories, silly."
"I know, but... I mean, I'm not saying to quit them altogether. Just take a break and, you know, write something else for a change."
"Disgusting," she says. "I don't appreciate the taste of other stories. You wanna write about sunshine and rainbows like all the others?"
"I must tend to the balance."
"The what?"
"You know what I mean... I can't let the madness weigh too much. Gotta add a bit of mass to the other side as well."
"Pff, look, if you're gonna be soft with me, I'm leaving."
She left
For now
And I stopped by the park benches and sat on one and the pigeons surrounded me with eyes full of want
and I had no breadcrumbs or anything to give them
so I just watched them
and perhaps my eyes featured even more want than theirs
because eventually they turned around and left
It's good to be completely alone for once in the while